First - Prev - Home - ArchivesEpisode 14: Now THAT'S an UpGrade!
Travis: So that black hole powers the station now?
Chief Engineer Frank Black: It's called a "Singularity", and yes, it does.
Venus: What if it were to get out of the containment field?
Frank: It would probably eat the entire station. It really likes crew members.
Travis: Is that so? *pushes Generic Engineer into the singularity*
Singularity: MMM! it IS good!
Travis: Well, I'll be damned.
Venus: YOU MORON! ENGINEERS ARE EXPENSIVE!
Frank: Actually, the generic ones are cheap as hell. We even order extra to keep the singularity fed.
Venus: Oh, really?
Frank: Yup.
Venus: Can I...? *glances as Generic Engineer 2*
Frank: Go right ahead.
Venus: *squees as she pushes GE2 into the singularity*
Singularity: *purrs*
*elsewhere*
Boris: *still hanging from the chapel ceiling by a rope* JAJAJAJAJAJA!
Chaplain: *hitting Boris with a stick* You were right, this IS fun!
Draxxan: I told you. *also hitting Boris with a stick*
Chaplain: *ceases hitting Boris* Although, I kinda feel bad about hitting him.
Draxxan: It's okay, he likes it.
Boris: Ja, Boris do this in old country as little boy.
Chaplain: Well, in that case... *resumes hitting Boris*
*a short time later, outside the bridge*
Danielle: Ahhh, it's good to finally get back to work.
Bridge door panel: ACCESS DENIED.
Danielle: DENIED MY ASS! *starts assaulting the door*
Some guy dressed in bulky armor and a funny hat: What on earth are you doing?
Danielle: Trying to get into the bridge.
Bulky armor guy: Would you like some help?
Danielle: Now that you mention it, Mister... *reads his id card* Space Hobo... could you hand me that crowba-
Danielle Cook was knocked down by Space hobo
Danielle: *turns around* YOU SON OF A BI- eep.
Space Hobo: *pointing a taser at Danielle* Alright, who are you?
Danielle: I'm the captain.
Space Hobo: No, you're not. I am the captain!
Danielle: No, I'm the captain!
Daniel: I'M SPARTACUS! *runs off*
Space Hobo: *completely ignoring Daniel* Over my dead body.
Danielle: *also completely ignoring Daniel* That can be arranged! *tased and cuffed and dragged into the bridge*
Space Hobo: *is the taser and cuffer and dragger* Security, to the bridge, NOW!
"Several Minutes Later"
Security McSecurityingsoningnesseredingingingingingnesseringtoneredingedgoddamnthisnameisgettingtoofuckinglongnesseringed: Yes?
Space Hobo: Who the hell are you!?
Security: I am Security.
Space Hobo: No you're not.
Danielle: You don't understand. His name is Security.
Security: Yeah. I was born for the jo- *tased*
Space Hobo: For the love of the Giant Space Octopus, could I get a SECURITY OFFICER TO THE BRIDGE RIGHT NOW!?
Unknown Security Officer: *enters the room*
Space Hobo: Finally! Arrest these two. I believe they are two of the escaped convicts from PS13.
Danielle: *manages to get out of the handcuffs and grabs a toolbox* YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! *hits Space Hobo upside the head with said toolbox*
Space Hobo: *pushes Danielle down* Nice try, dumb bi- *hit upside the head, and knocked down, with the fire extinguisher by USO*
USO: *takes off sunglasses and helmet revealing himself to be Travis* Stupid Captain, toolboxes are worthless now! *Hits Space Hobo again before helping Danielle up*
Danielle: ;_; you saved me. *hits Space Hobo with the toolbox*
Travis: Of course! ;_; *hits Space Hobo a third time with the fire extinguisher*
Dante Mitchell (HOP): *enters the bridge* Hey Capta- *notices Travis and Danielle beating Space Hobo to death with blunt objects* Is this a bad time?
Travis and Danielle: *glare at Dante*
Dante: I can come back... *backs away*
Travis and Danielle: *advance on Dante*
Dante: Fine then! *pulls an energy sword* HAVE AT YOU! *taser'd by Security*
Travis and Danielle: *begin beating Dante to death*
Dante: DAMMIT, I KNEW THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN! *killed*
What new surprises await the crew on this new Space Station 13? What shenanigans will they get into? Will Wendy's ever be staffed? Find out in about another year or two.
© 2010 Travis Prue
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